Leaning In to Not Knowing

As the year comes to an end, I have found myself stuck in a period of reflection. Many of my co-workers turned friends have left to pursue the next step of their lives, life-long friends are finding their footing in their careers or continuing their education, and while its so very exciting to watch and listen to them grow and move on, it leaves me with a tight feeling of "Should I be moving into a new chapter of my life? What season of my life am I in?" in my chest. I remember being in my senior year of high school trying to figure out college and degree paths and thinking, "how am I supposed to have it all together and know what I want to do with the rest of my life?! At least once I am older I will have it together..." Well, plot twist, almost 10 years later I still have no idea what I am supposed to do with the rest of my life. Now I could panic about this like I did when I was 18, but what I am learning now is to lean into it. I don't know if I will ever find a "one true calling" because I think I won't always be the same person in every phase of my life. If I was doing what I wanted to do when I was in elementary school, I would be a mail carrier. Middle school? A science teacher. In high school I wanted to have a new career every year. Who says that in my late 20s I should have it figured out? Society? My family? Or is it an undue pressure I am putting on myself? I know the answer to this question, and like many who are in my boat, I think they know it too.

This blog post is going to be different than my normal ones. I don't have any fun studies/science to back up a claim or tricks to figuring out your future so you know what choices to make (if anyone figures that out though, let me know- I'm all for one less choice to make in my life lol) No, this is going to be a blog post for everyone else in the same boat as me. The person who has never been good at making big decisions, who has so many interests, and loves learning new things that the thought of doing one set thing for the rest of your life scares you, and those who think that just because everyone else around you has it "figured out" means you have to as well. This post is a confirmation that even though we are very much into "hustle culture" here in the U.S. that you don't necessarily have to be; taking periods of rest is natural and, in my opinion, should be encouraged. It's a cliche phrase, but you are more than likely currently in the phase of your life that you spent SO LONG trying to work towards, why should we not enjoy the creation of our process before starting the next one?!

If you find yourself worrying about your future in the next couple of months (and I mean to the point you make yourself sick/stress yourself out- there is nothing wrong about game planning for your future, just don't take it past a point of excess!!) take a step back and think about WHY you are emphasizing it in the current moment. Is it genuinely because you have outgrown your current spot in life? Or is it because you FEEL like you should be somewhere else at this point/age in your life? If its the second one, take your foot off the gas (get off the social media for a second), and coast for a bit. It is amazing how once you take a bit of the pressure off of yourself it feels like the first rays of sunlight after a rain shower - your thoughts come easier, you feel lighter and can take a deep breath again!

If you have decided you are ready for your next chapter of life, but don't know where to start let me know if a post with a resource guide would be beneficial for you and I can get one put together! If you're like me though, and you think you are just going to hunker down for the fall/winter and rest, make sure to enjoy the rest period! You can't focus your energy on doing things that bring you rest and relaxation when you are too busy worrying if this is the right thing for you to do in this moment. If you do decide to take a rest, you don't have to "take a whole season off" just because you have already made that decision. The timeline is all YOUR OWN, no one else's; you will know when the time is right to get going on something new, or you may realize this is exactly where you want to be for the forseeable future! Either way, find ways to enjoy the journey and make sure to give yourself some grace (and some TLC) as we go into the holiday season <3